“I am a convert & advocate for human rights. After my baptism, I struggled with my faith because of the history of the church with black people. How do I reconcile being black and being a member of the Church?
I almost left the church because, I felt ashamed for joining a congregation with such a history. “
I attended our local district conference this weekend and my It was so spiritually uplifting. The conference moved from glory to glory and made me question where I stand in my spiritual journey. One of the things I loved was the emphasis on the book of Mormon this weekend. If you can remember, previously I mentioned there are some things regarding the BOM I struggled with. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been pondering on my understanding of the BOM. If you had asked me what I thought if the BOM three weeks, ago maybe even two weeks, I would have said “it is definitely spiritually uplifting and Joseph Smith was inspired by God”. However, I did not consider BOM to be superior to the Bible. As a matter of fact, I may have even thought about it in terms of a study guide not precisely revelation from God.
About two weeks ago or so, I told my mum something like, “…there is something about of the BOM that makes it true. Whether inspiration or anything, it’s still great”. That same weekend, during general conference, many Elders discussed the BOM in depth and highlighted every single argument I had to believe it’s not on par with the Bible. Gradually, I realised and accepted that the BOM is indeed God’s word. During district conference, the BOM was discussed in depth, AGAIN. Many people bore their testimonies of its wonders and truth. As I listened to some talks, I was amazed by the continuous revelation God gives us. Elder X mentioned, “…other Christians often have problems with BOM because, the Bible says (Deuteronomy 4:2, 12:32 & Revelations 22:18) do not add or take away from God’s word. But didn’t God add on to his words after Deuteronomy and reveal more information to us?” Didn’t the New Testament come along and Revelations and now the BOM? The moment he said that, I underwent a true conversion in my heart and truly believed that BOM is indeed God’s work. Not mere inspiration. It has the spiritual food I need to eat.
I asked Elder X, “How do I reconcile being black and being a member of the Church?”. Elder X responded to my question by saying, “I do not know”. My heart sank like what? Elder X had just given a very powerful talk and I felt disappointed (as I felt the spirit led me to ask him that question). He didn’t leave me empty handed though. He advised me to, hold firm to what I believe in and simply trust God that he will reveal it someday.
One problem I had with the BOM was Mormon 5:15 & Jacob 3:8.
2 Nephi 5:21 bothered me even more, "And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them". As an advocate for equal rights I find these verses point blank racist. How then could I testify of the BOM's truth if I disliked these verses? To help me with this, I asked myself, do I understand & like everything written in the Bible? No. Do I believe what is written in the Bible? Yes. Is the Bible true? Yes. I applied the same questions to the BOM and realised even though I do not understand everything written, it is still true. I will not lie and say I appreciate those particular verses and to be honest I am not sure I ever will. However, I know that there are many examples I can follow from the BOM. I am very fond of Alma (the younger). His conversion reminds me how important repentance and obedience is. Since God has revealed his truth to me, I should not be stubborn. What I need to do is pray and ask him to utilise me to reach out to others.
What’s left in my heart now is, knowing that the BOM comes from God. Therefore, I just need to hold on to that. I do not know what 2 Nephi 5:21 means to me right now and I am not sure how this will end. However, as for now, I know that God is just and his will and purpose is always the best. From today, I am giving myself a challenge: read the BOM back to back. Actually, not just read but, study and pray. For the next 40 days, I will post something I have learnt from the BOM once a day. I truly believe He will touch my heart and convert me. As long as we have repentant hearts and are willing, God’s arms are always wide open and He is always willing to help us learn. From this experience, I hope I will be able to hold on to Jesus Christ's principles and trust Heavenly father’s will for me.
Romans 8:31-39: What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
